Discharging the heat-seeking moisture missile
Dripping white-hot coconuts from the veiny palm tree of lust
Dropping the kids off at the pool
Escorting the one-eyed postal worker out of his denim cell
Evicting the testicular squatters
Firing the presidential staff
Fishing for zipper trout
Five-finger discount
Flogging your dumber brother
Foreplay with Fistina
Four-knuckle shuffle (for those who lost a finger in 'Nam)
Freeing the hostages
Freeing Willy
Getting your palm red
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Well your testosterone levels are lower so you're more serene and not very inclined to approach women and you know that you'll be home alone in about three hours so you can stroke and choke your chicken at will.
Even if you are in a relationship, you might masturbate -- and that too is absolutely normal, although your woman might think and feel otherwise. But do you even know why you masturbate if you have a woman who's ready, willing and able in your bed?
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